Tackling False Deadlines & Taking Back Your Time
Oh friend.
Can I share something with you that will hopefully make you make a big change that will make you feel better? There is an epidemic among wedding planners and we all have THE SAME bad, like really bad habit. And it stems from a problem that has the best of intentions, but can quickly put even the best planner on an unhelpful path. It is something that became so evident to me over the last few years of coaching wedding planners. A habit I see more often than not. A bad habit that makes us feel uninspired, exhausted and ready to give up.
In talking with a planner recently, she was coming to me for coaching complaining of feeling overwhelmed everyday and feeling unorganized and like she never had enough time to do all over her work. She was working nights and weekends and already starting to resent the job she loved so dearly. She asked how she can get back the love for the job.
I asked a question. “If you look at what you have to do this week, which of those items are truly urgent and which could be pushed to next week?” Her reply was, “Well I guess most of them are not truly urgent, I just want to get them done and I feel like my clients want everything yesterday. “
So next I asked, “Do you think it’s up to our clients to decide the pacing of planning or should it be the planner?” She admitted, I guess the planner, but it feels like our couple’s anxiety and worry dictates that before I can.”
THIS. This is a huge problem friends and this right here is the root of our time problem.
The problem you see, is that most planners are feeling overwhelmed, overworked with little boundaries and a poor relationship with reasonable work hours. It’s become all too common for planners to work 12 hour days, having to push aside any reasonable care for themselves or their personal lives. Friend, does this sound like you?
Admittedly, this was a spot on description of me for over 12 years of my career. But not anymore!
Not because I suddenly or magically found a worklife balance. Not because I took on less work. Not because I got better at my job or developed better boundaries. My life changed when I realized that I was creating entirely false deadlines. When I realized it’s up to me to build a better relationship with my workload and time.
FALSE DEADLINES
What do I mean by false deadlines? Creating urgency that is not really there by telling my clients I will have something to them in a very short timeline.
Urgency means, importance requiring swift action. Not every task requires urgency even though its often feels like it does.
SALES
When I would be wrapping up a sales call or meeting with a potential client, I would say, I’ll get this proposal for you later today. I look forward to discussing it further, blah blah. WAIT. Why was I giving this potential client a valuable 30-60 mins of my very likely already over scheduled day? When I realized this habit, I shifted a few things to better manage my time. First, I scheduled 45 mins after a new client call for any strong lead to give myself the time to create and send that proposal. If that wasn’t possible, I got into the habit of letting the potential client I would get the proposal to them in the next 48 hours. This gave me a more reasonable deadline and removed the false sense of urgency.
HOT TAKE
We’ve all been there. You get a new client and they are excited and anxious to get planning. Their family, friends and the entire world are making them feel behind. And this is the time that most planners make that key mistake. The couple shouldn’t create the planning timeline, the planner should. Yes, we want to alleviate our clients anxiety, yes we want to lean into our clients excitement. BUT it it also okay to do so in a reasonable timeline.
Just because it feels urgent to them doesn’t mean it is and it’s your job to explain that.
Let me say it again. It’s our job as planners to create the planning schedule, lead every part of planning with education, expertise and organization. Letting the couples lead the way is the exact opposite of why they hired you (most likely) and it’s immediately going to lead you down a path of false deadlines and self imposed urgency.
RELATIONSHIP WITH TIME
Are you someone who feels like there is never enough time? Have you ever met people who seem to not view time the same way? Fortunately our relationship with time is something we can improve. We can mage out time, we can improve our systems and we can choose to improve our outlook and relationship with time.
MINDSET
So often, the way we react to things has to do with a scarcity or abundance mindset. If we move time into the scarcity box, it negatively impacts EVERYTHING. So let’s challenge each other to view it with an abundance mindset and see how quickly that allows your stress, overwhelm and passion for the day to day to drastically improve.
ORGANIZATION
Absundance of time comes from amanging your time well. From organizing your tasks, to do’s and spending more time working and less time stressed about the amount of work.
Here are a few systems I cannot live without:
TIME BLOCKING - for me, time blocking my calendar helped me realize that I do in fact have enough time. I block off 30mins to 4 hours depending on the project and tasks I need to do. The more you time block, the more you realize tasks you tend to avoid really don’t take as much time as you thought. And the tasks you enjoy, you get to dive into those sooner and with less extensional dread.
INVOICE & CONTRACT SYSTEMS - Any planner not using a system for this is taking way too much time and leaving money on the table. I love Rock Paper Coin, where I can quickly send invoices, contracts and clients can sign digitally as well as have options for a bank transfer or to pay with a card. (Use PLANNERLIFE for 6 months free!)
PLANNING SYSTEM - I can’t stress this enough. You need a system for planning that helps you keep everything organized. Aisle Planner is a great solution! It’s a system I have used from the very beginning and still do today. The Refine Portal is an excellent option if you prefer Google docs but one that has been set up already and is client ready after a few customizations. For both options use code PLANNER LIFE for discounts.
SCHEDULE SEND - Schedule send for emails is one of my favorite tricks. I will work on my to do list often at odd hours or weekends. But I don’t want replies or to start conversations right then. So often I schedule send the next morning at 8am so that the replies come back to me during my office hours and I don’t feel the pressure to continue working past my designated time block.
In the end my friend, we can do better, we can feel more confident each week and less stressed. Let’s do it together.
Always cheering you on,
Heather